While scrolling through my Instagram yesterday, I came across a post from one of my favourite foodie’s out there… Laura Vitale. Laura is best known for her delicious recipes that she shares on her Youtube Channel “Laura in the Kitchen” and I’ve been following her for years. Recently, Laura became a mom and yesterday, she shared a post (see below) that made me pause and think.
“We are attached at the hip and it’s the best thing in the world. I read something yesterday that totally explained how I’ve felt throughout these 9 months. From the time I was in my second trimester, I was constantly told of the negative things to come. Example, “oh just you wait until you’re 9 months then you’ll feel so uncomfortable and frustrated” before she was born it was “all just you wait until you get no sleep” then it was “oh just you wait until she starts teething” “oh just you wait until she starts crawling” and so on and so fourth. Now obviously there are times when I’m tired, or baby is cranky and times when I wish my stomach was as tight as It was before, but if we focus on all the “negatives” at every stage, how do we possibly get to enjoy all the blessing and joys that come along with those stages? So if you’re a new mom, or newly pregnant, listen to me, yes uncomfortable times will come but please don’t focus on all that, get ready to embark on the most soul satisfying experience of your life! Loving Mia and experiencing the world through her eyes has made the past 9 months the happiest of my life and I have no doubt it will keep getting better even if somedays are fussier than others. “
I wanted to share this with you because I feel that it’s something all moms can relate to. When I was pregnant, I vividly remember people saying to me “Oh just you wait until…” and it was the most annoying phrase I had ever heard. Now that I’m a mom and have experienced some of the “Oh just you wait..” moments, I’m still continuously reminded that there are more difficult times to come. When my daughter was three weeks old, a colleague (who is a mom herself) came up to me and said “I feel so bad for you! because she claimed that, “The newborn phase is one of the worst phases!”. When I heard that, I wanted to crawl into a hole and cry and began to panic about all of the “Oh just you wait” moments that were to come.
Although I’ve been warned of some parenting challenges, I’ve still been unprepared for most of them. In my eyes, there is no way to prepare for parenting. Sure, you can buy the crib, fix up a nursery and “nest” if you will, but motherhood (and fatherhood too) is a whole new and life changing experience. So now, when I hear people say “Oh just you wait until…”, I try to think of it as a caution sign. It’s nice to be prepared vs. not, but with that being said, things are bound to happen that are completely out of your control as a parent. It’s like when you’re driving down a road and all of a sudden you’ve come to a complete stop due to an accident. You’ve been listening to the radio but must have missed the traffic alerts and now you’re stuck. Had you known that there was going to be a delay, you could have taken an alternate route or given yourself more time to get to your final destination but instead, you’re now in a jam and there’s not much you can do about it except to wait it out.
Yes, I’m comparing parenting to traffic. There may be times where you’ll avoid one accident, maybe two or three.. but you’ll never be able to avoid them all. Accidents are bound to happen and when it comes to parenting, you’re bound to experience some challenges that you weren’t completely prepared for. Sometimes even when you think you’re prepared, you’re not.
There are days as a mom where I want to rip my hair out but there are also times where I find myself crying in bed because I love my daughter so f*cking much. There are hard times but there are also amazing times and as Laura put it “…if we focus on all the ‘negatives’ at every stage, how do we possibly get to enjoy all the blessings and joys that come along with those stages?”. I’m not at all suggesting that we don’t talk about the hard time because those are important to discuss (and I’m all about being honest here), but I am suggesting that we pause and focus on the positives too. We all struggle with parenting in our own ways and all parents can understand and sympathise with each other so let’s just recognise that parenting is tough. Being a mom is hard. It’s the hardest job on this planet and I’m only 6 months in! So when someone says to you “oh just you wait until..” try not to worry and just think… no matter how many traffic jams you encounter, the road always opens back up!